But for today, you must settle for the more ho-hum story of my current roommate search. I've begun the quest because one of my two roommates is getting married this fall and, therefore, moving out of our apartment when our lease runs out this July. Although my experience searching for a place to live in Lynchburg last summer convinced me that most people wait until the absolute last minute to find new roomies, I am a planner and have already posted my Craigslist ad.
The adventure of finding a roommate is kind of like dating, especially when the use of Craigslist makes it feel like online dating. (Disclaimer: I've never online dated, nor have a I really "dated" in the traditional meet cute at the bus station, go get coffee and then dinner and then maybe a movie type way. That's really the W&L-way. I still feel totally qualified, however, to draw my comparisons, Carrie Bradshaw style.)
When I posted my Craigslist ad, I did everything I could to make the apartment seem attractive to like-minded people, without giving away enough information to make myself vulnerable to spammers and, worse, murderers. I made sure to include "affordable" in the title, because I see that as the main appeal of my apartment, but wanted to emphasize that I actually live in a very nice complex, it just happens to be in the cheapest part of the world.
I didn't want to post pictures with the ad itself, because that seemed to be inviting the whole murdering thing (really though because I was lazy), but I tried to paint a word picture of how luxurious my place of living is. I vaguely described myself and the remaining roommates as "young female professionals seeking similar types," or something like that. (I did say we would not turn away a male roommate, but I've since ignored all e-mails from men. Turns out I'm not actually that hip.)
Anywho, after carefully crafting this post, I put it out on the Internet, fully expecting not to hear anything until we got closer to the Aug. 1 move-in date.
Apparently though, I was wrong, and the world is filled with people just as planning-obsessed as I am (or who can't read - I've gotten a few people who need a room TOMORROW, and have chosen to ignore the "Aug. 1" in the ad title). E-mails have flowed in at a fairly steady pace for about two weeks now, and I've set up a few coffee dates.
It's a tricky line to walk, though, because how am I to tell people I don't like enough to live with them that I've found someone else? Will "it's not you, it's me" work? (Real talk: does anyone in the real world use that, or is it solely a television and movie trope? I'm curious.) To limit the heartbreak I spread around, I've responded positively to only three of my e-mailers and left the rest hanging, for now. They'll get responses if these are all duds.
The first girl was nice enough, but, to borrow a phrase I believe Katherine once told me her parents use, meeting her felt like work. (Her context it was actually work, I think, because her dad's job involves meeting people. It still applies.) I've turned myself into a much more outgoing person in the past five or so years, but I still feel that little surge of stress every time I expected to have flawless engaging conversation with strangers. I can do it, but if it's strenuous the whole time I don't enjoy it. That's how felt about contestant number one.
At that point I was beginning to wonder if I was going to meet someone I felt natural with, and the dating comparison popped up in my head once more. What if I'm the problem? What if she didn't like me, and that's why it was hard to talk to her? What if I never meet someone who won't judge me for consuming alcohol in public?
Anxiety shoved down deep, I set out for my second coffee date Saturday. I was running late and dressed in gym clothes to motivate myself to run afterward - not the best first impression to make. I foresaw things going terribly, being super awkward, and just overall not fun.
But it wasn't! Contestant number two and I got along great. After the preliminary small talk about how damn hot it was, we slipped into natural conversation about how weird a city we live in, how it's hard to find roommates in a town where people use certain code words in their Craigslist posts to indicate what behaviors are and aren't okay, and our relative level of interest in being outside, working out and overall doing difficult things in the interest of getting in shape.
Now, though, I'm faced with a situation more in line with polygamy than traditional dating; playing the waiting game until my roommate returns from out-of-town and she can decide if she likes this potential housing buddy.
Meanwhile I'm worrying if she'll find someone else or a better offer and leave us behind. I have one more coffee date schedule and scores of other Craigslist offers. But if this falls through, she may just be the one that got away.
Cue sad, wistful music.
Have I finally figured out how to comment?
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say that I can relate. The German apartment process is quite cutthroat. My roommate told me he only picked me instead of the 10 other people he talked to because I was American. Nice that it actually worked out. Anyway, I was on the selecting side of several roommate searches, and let me tell you, those people don't mess around. No question is too sensitive.